How to Support Someone Who Lost a Baby

How to Support Someone Grieving Baby Miscarriage

On Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I want to honor the babies who are no longer here with us. Mama, I know your grief is thick, even years later. I know you miss your baby deeply.

I have never experienced infant loss. But I have walked this road alongside close friends and as a pastor’s wife. When your friend is grieving their baby, finding the right words to say seems impossible. We don’t even know where to begin, but we know we have to do SOMETHING.

Here is how to support someone who is grieving their infant: 

—Acknowledge and honor baby’s memory.

Call their baby by name. Some people think that bringing up baby will make the parents sad, but Mom and Dad think about baby all the time regardless. Honor their child.

—Listen.

Don’t try to make things better with sayings like “your baby is in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason.” Nothing is going to make it better right now. Simply listen and say “I’m so sorry.” I have 9 other simple sayings for grief below.

—Offer specific help. 

Meal trains, housework, watching older siblings- these are all tangible ways to relieve parents of mental stress. During the immediate crisis/loss season, parents are often figuring out burial plots, caskets, D&C’s, and other difficult situations. Even months later, offering this help will relieve some burdens so they can have a mental and emotional break.

—Show up however you can.

Simply be present in their pain. Send a card or be present physically if possible. Yes, it’s hard and messy and dark. But they need people like you to walk in the darkness with them. 

—Remember when others forget.

Set a reminder for the day of the month that your friend’s baby died. Monthly milestones are difficult. Set another reminder for baby’s birthday. 

—Reach out during holidays.

Days like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Christmas are especially difficult, and many parents don’t want to “bring others down” during what is a celebratory time for most. Honor their parenthood during this time. (Maybe even gift them a personalized ornament in baby’s honor.)

—Give a special, timeless gift.

Consider a special gift that will last forever (not flowers or a plant that could die). At the bottom of this post I have some ideas. 

—Don’t judge parents for their emotional response.

Don’t hold things against them if they are distant or even seemingly rude. They are under immeasurable stress. 

—Be sincere.

Don’t ask “how are you?” if you’re not sincerely willing to listen to their truth. Flippant social talk is salt in their wounds when they are walking around in grief. 

—Realize their grief will last a lifetime.

Some waves are stronger than others, but this isn’t an event to “get over.” 

-Continue to check on them and offer to listen.

Let them share over and over again, if that’s what helps them.

—Years down the road, realize that baby’s parents are still grieving.

Back to #1 above – honor and remember their child. 

10 Things to Say When Friends Lose a Baby:

What to Say When Friends Lose a Baby:

10 Things NOT to Say When Friends Lose a Baby:

What Not to Say When Friends Lose a Baby:

Here are some thoughtful gifts and ornaments for parents grieving their infants.

I hope they are a blessing to you as you minister to friends who are walking through this difficult season. If you find another perfect gift, I encourage you to comment below so our community can learn about it.

(Some links are affiliate. This does not affect your price, but helps support our family.)

Best gifts for grieving parents of infant loss or baby miscarriage

Jesus Watercolor Portrait
Grieving the Child I Never Knew
Intwined Circles Necklace

Breastmilk Infinity Necklace
Onesie Memory Bear
Jesus Family Portrait

Memory Windchime
Heart Necklace
Book of Comforts
Willow Tree Embrace Figurine

Ornaments for grieving parents of infant loss or baby miscarriage

Many of these can be customized to your colors and style.

Too Beautiful For Earth Ornament
Carried & Loved Ornament
Name Wire Ornament

Heaven is More Beautiful Ornament
Willow Tree Mother Angel Ornament
Metal Engraved Ornament

Forever in Our Hearts Ornament
Scripted Name Heart Ornament

It would be an honor to pray for you if you are grieving your child, or walking through this journey with a friend or family member. Please don’t hesitate to reach out in my DMs on Instagram. You are so loved!

How to Support Someone Who Lost a Baby
Hi friend! I’m Clarissa, mom of two crazy little boys & Ryan’s wife for nearly 10 years! I have fancy taste on a frugal budget and love sharing my favorite sales and life hacks to help you stay sane (& stylish) while parenting. We live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest! Join me on Instagram modern parenting blog fashion
Like this? Share it with your friends!